Click here to read this article in its entirety. This article did a great job on focusing on what I have often talked about on my blog -- that the church and Christianity doesn't know what to do with infertile women. That we don't fit into their mold and that it can be incredible painful amongst the people we should most feel connected.
The isolating nature of thoughts like these can lead someone struggling with miscarriage or infertility to feel invisible. That’s what happened to me. I started feeling like I was unseen, just like my ongoing ache. I want to do the woman thing! I want to have babies! That’s not a bad thing to desire, I reasoned with God. As my ache grew, so did my feeling of uselessness. I began to feel like even God didn’t see me.
My miscarriage left me feeling all of these things: invisible, isolated, and useless. Like many realities, healing is a process, and I’m currently right in the middle of it. Part of my process is choosing to actively participate in the tiny work of God. I’m practicing my little acts of love, my small responses to his overwhelming grace. Like scales on the piano that sound clunky at first, I’m practicing and learning to be whole. Praise God that he did not leave me as I was and that he will not leave me as I am now. I believe the nearness of God is my good. Even on days when only a sliver of myself believes it, I will sing loud until the passion floods me again.
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