Friday Funnies

Isaac is constantly trying to make deals with us. He is one step ahead of us and quickly making his way to trying to work things out his way. Here are some examples:
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In the van on the way to Family Vacation Bible School, the boys told me they were hungry. I told them that I had food but that it was not the kind of food we could eat in the van. "It's applesauce and yogurt," I explained. "We need to be sitting down to eat them." Isaac responded, "But Mama, we are sitting down."
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Isaac often likes to read while he is in his bed during nap time. Naps are hard to come by lately -- the boys just don't really need them anymore. But I still require them to stay in their beds for 90 minutes. I went in and told Isaac he needed to be quieter because he might wake up sister. "Mom," he said. "That wasn't me. It was just my stuff (aka stuffed animals)."
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Me: "Can I have one of your snacks Isaac?"
Isaac: "No thanks."
Me: "Well, I'd like just one."
Isaac: "Okay, but next time please eat your own snack."
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Me: "Head upstairs for bed. You can each pick out two books to read."
Isaac: "How 'bout four?"
Me: "No, I said two. Pick out two books."
Isaac: "Okay. I'll pick out three."
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I told Isaac he needed to put some shorts on. "What if your friends come over?" I said. "You don't want to be walking around in your underwear if your friends come over." He put his hand on  my back and replied, "If my friends come over, I'll put some shorts on Mommy. Okay?"
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After a day on Base, we headed home for naps. Before Isaac went down for a nap, he had to go to the bathroom. When I went to put his pants back on, I just helped into his underwear and left his shorts on the nightstand. An hour later, Isaac emerged from his room to go to the bathroom again. I again, helped him back into his undewear.
Isaac: "Where are my shorts mom?"
Me: "You only had underwear on, Isaac."
Isaac: "But when we went somewhere before I had my pants on."
Me: "But I took them off before your nap."
Isaac: "Oh. Okay. I forgot."
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Dad: "I need to wipe your face. You have ice cream all over it."
Isaac: "No I don't. While I was eating it, it melted while I was eating it."

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And of course, we have to have some funnies from Sidge too. Here is our Sidge boy in greatest form:
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Sidge: "Zebras say zzzzzz."
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Sidge: "If anyone messes up my puzzles, I'm going to be willy mad at them."
Me: "You can be mad Sidge, but not at them. You need to forgive them. But you are allowed to be upset."
Sidge: "I'll just be upset at myself. Okay mom?"
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Sidge decided to kill a spider in the corner all by himself. I told him to get a paper towel. He returned with a baby wipe. "Ummm, you can use that," I said. "But in the future, why don't you use a paper towel?"
Sidge: "Okay Mommy," and then a pause as he considered that he has no idea what I meant. "Ummm, Mommy? Is it the future?"
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The boys often want to sleep in just their underwear, but we don't allow them to walk around the house in their underwear. When Sidge asked me why, I replied by saying. "Well, what if one of your friends came over? They would see your underwear."
Sidge: "And then they would smell our buns?"
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Me: "Sidge, those are not nice table manners."
Sidge: "Are they mean?"