Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Today I cried

I've been holding it in. Trying not to let it out. Not wanting to acknowledge that our life here is drawing to a close.

But today, the tears came.

It was many things at once. Angelica at the park. Pointing to the boxes at our house and pushing aside her own tears. A Turkish nanny stopping by to tell me how much she and the other nannies have appreciated me learning their language and including them in my life. Walking up the stairs and seeing my boys' room full of boxes. It was Isaac welling up with tears when he learned the new bike with training wheels that Trez gave us has been packed away for our new life in the Azores. A near breakdown of the boys when they couldn't find their bath toys.

Am I happy? I am.

Am I excited? I am.

Am I sad? I am.

Am I scared? I am.

Am I tired of moving? I am.

I am all of that.

And so I cried. "Just a widdle bit," as Elijah would say. But I let a bit of it out.

4 comments:

Lisa Cronk said...

You are a stronger woman than I, my dear! Hang on! You can do it!
: ) Lisa

Jenny said...

Completely understandable! I know many tears are coming my way soon too. I honestly can't think about it too much, as it causes me to tear up. Saying goodbye is so hard! I know the Lord is going before you to prepare a place, but it is hard when one season has to end. Prayers being lifted up for you friend!

Dana said...

As the daughter of a career Navy man, I completely understand. Everytime we had to move, I was sad and excited at the same time. So scared and upset at leaving behind all my friends and my schools and the home I had become accustomed to. But I always also felt the thrill of going somewhere new and discovering a whole new area and school and making new friends. Your boys (and Abigail) will be better for the learning to adjust to new situations early. It will really help them later in life. I know right now it is hard to see but one day you will look back with nothing but happiness about all the adventures you have had as a family! I can understand more from a child of a career military man than from the perspective of a military wife, but just remember in this day and age you will never lose touch with those who have touched your heart!

Wendi Kitsteiner said...

Thank you Dana, Lisa, and JEnny. All of you helped me in a very different way. Lisa telling me I was strong. Jenny that she understood and Dana that this will be good. Bless you all!