THANK YOU to those of you who have sent me scriptures, emails, encouragement, love, and prayers. I have read them, I have heard them, I have felt them. All of them.
I HAVE BEEN a bit paralyzed by this cloud I have been in. It surprised me. And I have not know exactly how to get out of it. I have been stuck in the same place now for a few weeks. I feel like I am trying to walk through cement. How do I keep walking?
TODAY has been a very hard day emotionally. There is no reason why and that is what feels the most bothersome about the difficulties. But after a nap, I found my house clean (thank you Hatice) and all three kiddos and the dog asleep. And I had some time to meditate on those scriptures. I had some time to print them out. I had some time to pray.
AND I have decided to make a change. Yes I am seeking help through counseling and medication to combat this depression I have found myself in. But I am not going to wait for those things to "work their magic." I am going to pray and ask the Lord to work His.
MY MOM sent me the following:
"Gracious God, my Father, give me the diligence to seek You, the patience to wait for You, the understanding to know You, and the willingness to do Your will. Forgiving God, from whom to turn is to fall, to whom to return is to rise again, in whom to trust is to abide secure; grant me strength in my duties, guidance in my perplexities, protection in any anger, and peace in turmoil. You created me in Your own image with a mind to understand You, a heart to love You, and a desire to serve You. Increase in me today my comprehension of Your goodness and grace, my response to Your presence, my gratitude for Your caring, that I may grow in the likeness of Jesus Christ my Lord. Guide the thoughts of my mind, the words I speak, the work I do, the attitudes I hold, the countenance I communicate, and the impression I have on others. In good times may I give You the glory and in troubled times may I trust You more." Lloyd John Ogilvie
I SERVE a mighty God. He healed me from infertility. He has given me a beautiful family. And I know He is bigger than some sadness that my hormonal self has found herself in. I am going to pray my way out of this pit.
WILL YOU PRAY WITH ME?
8 comments:
I will continue to pray for you! I mentioned briefly in the comments weeks ago that I myself recently experienced an anxiety attack that completely caught me off guard. I have never had one before and there was no reason for it in particular. It was dark, confusing. The ONLY time during those days that I felt ok were the times that I was worshipping through singing. It worked for me. I would put on my playlist, crank up the music and raise my hands, kneel down, etc. and just sing out the words of the songs and make them my prayers. l felt like I didn't even know how or what to pray, so I let the words of the songs be my meditation and prayers to the Lord.
I will pray that you are able to find something like that too, whether it is singing or prayers or listening to audio bible verses and that it will comfort you.
Love you!
I will pray with you Wendy. While no where near experiencing where you are at, I am reminded lately to praise! I'm waiting rather impatiently might I add to buy Ann Voskamp's book: 1000 gifts. Here is her blog address: http://www.aholyexperience.com/ Reading her blog has brought me encouragement and challenge. She knows the depths, has risen above them with Jesus, and her sweet spirit has really been a breath of fresh air! I hope you check it out! Praying for you.
Jessie who met you on HP
YES, praying for you and with you Wen..sending our love, N
Been praying for you Wendi and will continue to pray with you. Your life is already evidence that NOTHING is impossible for God. He can bring healing and I absolutely believe He will. He is with you through this storm, He will never leave you or forsake you. You are His precious daughter whom He loves.
I would echo Joy Z comment about singing praise to God. After my miscarriage while John was in Peru, I would put on music and just sing and cry out to God. The Bible says the Lord inhabits the praises of His people. And where the Lord is, joy comes - "you will fill me with joy in your presence" Psalm 16:11. It truly helped bring about my healing.
Love you my friend!
I can't say it any better than those before me - amazing ladies follow your blog! So...I'll simply say that I am praying every day for you! God promises He'll never leave you or forsake you - He's there for your every moment! May His arms cradle you and His peave enfold you! Lynda
Praying for you!!
What a beautiful prayer from you mom -i have copied it! hugs! I love Psalm 62...I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken....Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; my fortress where I will not be shaken....he is my refuge , a rock where no enemy an reach me. OH M PEOPLE, trust in him at all times POUR OUT YOUR HEART TO HIM for God is our refuge...God has spoken plainly and I have heard it many times. Power, o God, belongs to you; unfailing love, o Lord, is yours..... ( Love that the Psalmist even had to tell Himself TWICE to wait before God and hope in Him...I love that waiting quietly and hoping in Him doesn't mean I can't pour my heart out to Him too...songs of praise is one of the ways to pour it out to Him. I love you...be gentle with yourself...xo Tante Jan
I went thru a period of depression as a young woman. I can only describe it as a black void that would come over me, I could still function, but with a feeling of emptiness. It would come and go. I didn't know how to seek medical help. I believe the Lord gave me a way out. I had "my verse", and everytime I felt that wave begin to come over me, I quoted my verse over and over as I continued on with my daily routine. Over time, I was healed. I haven't had those feelings for years. Thank you Lord.
I see a common thread here amongst your commenters, when the tears/sadness comes, focus on Him through praise, singing, the word or whatever form you choose.
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