Saturday, March 27, 2010

College Basketball

So. It has been awhile since I have done one of my "sports history" posts. I did a few posts on my high school sports career. You can read those by clicking here. Again, I am not writing these posts in the hope to brag. But in order to present an accurate picture, I do have to quote some facts which might be interpreted as bragging. I promise you, that is not my intent. If you don't know me personally, this may paint an inaccurate picture of me. I strive to be humble. I always have. But please allow me a little bit of space so that I can share things as they happened. My high school career concluded with a few major highlights. As far as basketball was concerned, I scored my 2,000 point on the same night my father (and coach) cinched his 200th win. By the time I graduated had scored 3,058 points (3rd in the state at the time), blocked 618 shots (1st in the state), and grabbed1,954 rebounds (1st in the state all-time, and 4th highest in the nation all-time.) Here I am at the Broward County award banquet receiving my fourth consecutive player-of-the-year award from Michael Irvin who had grown up in Fort Lauderdale as well.
And here I am with my Father, who received coach-of-the-year that year. My number was then retired by my high school. Ironically, JB was hired to do the sign in the gymnasium for my retirement. It has since been replaced with a banner.
I was a better basketball player than volleyball player but could have played either in college. At the time, volleyball was still a fledgling sport. It did not garner national attention like it does today. In addition, I did not play back row and felt that I would be limited in that regard in college. While I was recruited by a few schools to play both sports (Georgia Tech specifically), I ultimately realized that playing any sport in conjunction with basketball was next to impossible. 

Volleyball was also very expensive. While AAU basketball was relatively free (coaches were nearly all volunteer), club volleyball was still an "elite" activity and coaches were paid salaries. It cost my parents more than they really had to allow me to play. So before my senior season of club volleyball, I made the decision to play college basketball instead of volleyball and subsequently did not play my senior year of club volleyball. 

Did I make the right decision? It is hard to say. As I look back, and look at my college basketball success, I can tell you that my body was a volleyball player's body. I looked like a volleyball player. I moved like a volleyball player. And I wish I could go back and see what would have happened had I made a different decision. But I can't do that and so, in order to not have regrets, I just accept that that was how it was. 

Once I made the decision to play college basketball, the recruiting process began. This was a grueling, tiring, and overwhelming process for any seventeen year old to go through. You begin by getting letters from schools and then phone calls. My father and I would, on two separate phones, hold an approximately hour long phone call with some coach from some school somewhere. We'd ask a series of questions and determine whether that school would get a second call. Sometimes I would take as many as three of these hour long phone calls in a night. I grew sick to my stomach when I would hear the phone ring and completely weary of these calls. I then started eliminating schools. 

When they called the second time, I would tell them whether they made the cut. I made the second-most-difficult decision of my sports career when I decided I wanted to play big-time Division I basketball. Was this the right decision? Again, you can't retreat in your mind to the past. So I try not to think about it. I had many smaller Division I schools tell me, flat out, that I would start and play all the time for them as a freshman. I passed on that opportunity in the hopes of playing for a national contender. I think I was good enough to play top D-1 but not good enough to play a lot or be a stand-out at that level. I was a center stuck in a forward's body. I never could gain the weight or the strength that it would take to be a super star center at that level. Let's face it. 6'3" and 160 pounds just wasn't big enough. Imagine that. 

But again ... the past is the past. After a long and drawn out recruiting process which included many coaches coming to visit my house and then me taking visits to a handful of schools, we narrowed it down from approximately 70 schools to just a handful. In a very emotional decision, I chose Western Kentucky University in Bowling Green, Kentucky over Florida State University as my college of choice. All I could think of was how relieved I was to sign that national letter of intent, secure a full scholarship, and be done with recruiting calls, home visits, and official visits. Here was the amazing Diddle Arena back in 1995. It looks quite different today but it could easily seat 6,000 plus for a woman's game. These were great numbers at the time:

The summer of 1995, I left Fort Lauderdale for Bowling Green. I would never return to Fort Lauderdale to live again. That was the last year I lived by my family. It was also the point that my relationship with John would stand its greatest test. We would spend the next 18 months long distance. This was before email or long distance plans. We were broke and we would barely see each other over the next year and a half while he finished his degree in Florida. I have to admit that I often lost faith we could stand the test of time. 

After one emotional phone call, I remember flopping down on my bed and telling Kristi I wasn't sure we could stay together. Kristi laid next to me nearly in tears. "Wendi," she said. "You have to stay together. If you and John don't make it, then I know I'll never make it and I'll never get married." I guess she was right. We did make it, and man, I am so glad that John was so determined to marry me. I gave him every reason to give up so many times. Those are details for another post. Let me get back to basketball. Here is my entire family on a visit to Bowling Green. This was taken at Jackson's Orchard ... one of my favorite places in all of Bowling Green to be. It's hard to pick pictures for this post as I have so many. I've tried to just touch the surface on the four years I spent in Kentucky.


I met Kristi on my recruiting visit to Western. We ended up paired as roommates. You were required, as a basketball player, to spend your first two years in Central Hall dorms on the fourth floor. I later found out that Kristi called the coaches to beg for another roommate when she learned of our matching. I guess I didn't make a good first impression. Kristi and I were night and day! But what a blessing the coaches decided to go with their guts and put us together. We fast became the best of friends. We lived in the dorm together for two years and then in an apartment for one year before I ran off and got married.

Here we are in our dorm room of two years in Central Hall. #403 if I remember correctly. You can tell this was freshman year because I still have my Florida tan.


And here is Kristi and I at a practice. This was pretty typical of Kristi. Flying by me. She was the most tenacious player I have ever, ever, ever encountered. If you were in her way, watch out. She'd stop for no one.


I became very good friends with all of my teammates but specifically two other freshmen: Shea who I am going to be seeing next weekend, and Heather who I was also be seeing next weekend! Heather left after our freshman year. Sophomore year my bud Jaime (who is here visiting me now) moved into Central Hall. She became a very close friend as well. Here's a picture of me and Jaime at Kristi's wedding. I am holding the "nutt bucket" and yes, this was featured on the The Wedding Story on TLC. We were castrating cattle, and as the Matron of Honor, I was entitled to this privilege.


And here is a picture of me with Kristi and another great friend that I still talk to online some today, Laurie. She is now a mother of twin boys. We are in San Francisco here:

So, college basketball. It was an amazing opportunity. I got to see places and go places and participate in things I would never have been able to do without basketball. Here's me experiencing snow in Maine. I was not enjoying this as you can probably tell. The Florida girl in her first experience with cold weather.


And here I am on a horse at Kristi's family's ranch in new Mexico. We played in the NIT that year in New Mexico and spent a few days enjoying her home.

I had no idea how to dress in cold weather. I was naive and clueless about nearly everything. My teammates took me under their wing and taught me everything I needed to know to dress like a southerner and not stand out like a sore thumb.

My scholarship at WKU meant I didn't owe a dime for my schooling. What an amazing blessing. I actually got better grades in college then I did in high school due to the fact that my boyfriend (now husband) was back in South Florida and I just wasn't in to the party scene. When all of my teammates would leave for the night, I'd study. What else did I have to do?

I loved basketball, but I don't think I loved it enough for the commitment involved with big-time basketball. Don't get me wrong. I worked hard. I worked as hard as I could. After returning from my only summer at home in South Florida between my freshman and sophomore years, the coaches told me that I was the most improved after the summer break. And I agreed! I had worked my tail off at home. I was disciplined and did what I was asked, even when eyes weren't watching. At the end of my freshman year, I was awarded the "Harry Burns Courage Award." I think this was given more for my support of my teammates and refusal to participate in the party scene and instead focus on my grades.


As the years went on, I definitely became known to my teammates, coaches, and fans as the "mother hen" or the team mother -- the person that could be trusted at all times. When two of my teammates got into a drunken brawl one night in college, both of them called me for help. The cops ended up releasing one of them into my custody knowing that she'd be okay with me. That was my team role, and even though I didn't participate a lot on the court, I worked to do so off off it all the time.


But no matter how hard I worked on the court, I wasn't as good as many of my teammates, especially my first two years. I remember feeling so frustrated that my teammates, some of whom didn't work very hard and were out all night the night before practice, could still do things on the basketball floor that I would never be able to do. But I stuck with it and was determined to be the best I could be. Here is my entire team sophomore year. What a great group of girls and friends.


From left: Jamie, Jaime, me, Stacey, Jaana, Kristi, Tenisha, Sharonda, Danielle, Lesley, Shea, Laurie, and Tarshia. You can tell how much of a family this was from the fact that, over ten years later, I still remember all of their names.

I also, no matter what I did, could not put on the weight that was required of a center. And it wasn't for lack of eating. I ate an unbelievable amount of food. I ate in the cafeteria three meals a day. I remember breakfast would typically be two glasses of orange juice, cereal, waffles, eggs, and fruit. At a minimum. All of my meals were like that. And still, it took me nearly three years to put on twenty pounds. I then got sick and lost nearly ten pounds in one week. Go figure. Here are some pictures of me during my first two years. These were years that I played sparingly and happily so. I know I deserved my role on the team. I had been told when signing with WKU that I would need two years to get to the place where I could be a big-time contributor.

With Bri outside of the locker room. When I came to WKU, the team the year prior had been in the top 10.


Getting ready for a photo shoot. This says October of 1995.


My locker. At the time, WKU had one of the best locker rooms in the country. You should see how shabby this locker room is compared to the one they have now!

Photo shoot freshman year. We did a progression picture of "ladies to athletes." This is me as a lady. Ha!

Of course Bri was a huge fan! They made numerous trips to come and visit me at WKU.

I spent many an hour in my "Huisman" chair watching game film and dissecting more than I care to remember!


At the back door of our locker room.


I loved my teammates. I loved my coaches. I loved our fans. I loved traveling. I loved the notoriety. I loved how embraced we were by all of Bowling Green. I loved signing autographs. It was fantastic!
But basketball was hard for me. It was a huge time commitment and balancing that with school work often let me feeling like I was struggling to stay afloat. There was practice, individual work-outs, team meetings, weight lighting, game film, team meetings, team events and appearances. There was a lot to it. In addition, we travelled a lot and would miss a lot of class for traveling. I enjoyed it and thought it was the hardest thing I ever did all at the same time.

I was known as one of the most energetic "Lady 'Toppers" (short for Hilltoppers). I was supportive of my teammates, even from the bench, and would always get a roaring cheer when it was finally my turn to go in the game my freshman and sophomore year.

I played those first two years under the legendary Coach Paul Sanderford. I remember that he worked us very hard. That he expected nothing less than our very best. That he was, nearly always, very fair. That every time I made a mistake he would say, "Wendi, how could someone with a ___ SAT screw that up so badly?" Each time he did this, my SAT score got higher and higher. And quite honestly, I didn't have that high of an SAT in the first place! 

He still credits me with helping him develop his coaching philosophy "nine pounds of air" in telling me that this ball was just air at the end of the day. That I didn't need to let it effect me so much. 

At the beginning of my sophomore year, JB moved to Kentucky. He had graduated from the Fort Lauderdale Art Institute with his Associates Degree in graphic design and quickly got a job for an advertisement firm in downtown Bowling Green. He got an apartment and our relationship moved forward. It was difficult for John. He knew NO ONE in town but me. And I was very busy with a life that was not my own. I can remember one night planning to have dinner together and being told minutes before I was to arrive for dinner that we instead had to go to a team function. He had no money and was living with boxes for furniture for quite some time. But the team quickly embraced him as one of their own. Here is Natalie at a hayride about to plant one on John!

After my Sophomore year, I went in for my post-season player meeting with the coaches. It was then that Coach Sanderford informed me that he wanted me to red-shirt my junior year. This means that I would practice with the team for a year and go to classes, but I would spend the year getting stronger and return to the court as a junior again after the year "break." It is a way to give a player time to get bigger and better. While it made sense, I was, truly, crushed. I did not want to play basketball for five years. I was tired and wanted to graduate with my fellow classmates.

I agreed to the red-shirt but told Coach Sanderford that if he was going to red-shirt me, I was going to get married. We had been planning to wait until I graduated, but if that was going to be three years away instead of two, forget it.

We moved ahead with our wedding plans and plans for me to red-shirt. However, during my junior summer, Coach Sanderford unexpectedly left WKU for Nebraska. Coach Steve Small, who was an amazing Associate Head Coach during my first two years and was one of the coaches I was closest to and most influential in recruiting me to WKU, took over. After long discussions, Coach Small decided NOT to red-shirt me. Mostly because I begged him not to. However, the wedding plans went on and before my senior year, I was married. I became the first ever married Lady 'Topper. Here I am before my wedding:

My junior and senior years were more frustrating for me. I had done the work to get playing time and did not feel that I was getting what I deserved. I continued to have a good attitude and never bad-mouthed the coaching staff or the team to anyone, but those closest to me knew that I was frustrated. If I did express frustration, Coach Small would remind me that I didn't need success on the court. That I would go on to my fantastic life aside from basketball. But that didn't help me at the time.
My playing time was also very inconsistent which was hard to deal with. I'd go from starting to not playing, to playing nearly half a game, to playing two minutes a game. I was a very good defensive player, but ultimately, offense often talks louder. Looking back, I think my decision to not "stir the waters" probably hurt me. I refused to go in and complain about my playing time, and I think, as a result, it was easier to sit me.

Again though, that is in the past. I hold nothing against my head coach. I loved Coach Small. He did the best he could. I just wish things would have gone differently the last two years on the court.
Off the court, things continued to go well. John and I were married, and I had the extreme privilege to receive WKU's academic athlete of the year award my senior year. My family flew in to surprise me for the event.

Here I am with my teammate for my last two years, LaVonda.

My last year on the hill.

The seniors I graduated with: Shea, Kristi, me, and one of my other great friends, Katashia.

These girls were my sisters. During my infertility journey, Katashia offered to be a surrogate for me. I remember her saying, "Wendi after two kids and two bad knees, I'm fat anyways. I might as well be fat and pregnant with your babies." I had other fantastic friends as well. Katie C. and I were great friends during my senior and her freshman year, and many other girls too numerous to mention. But without a doubt, Jaime, Kristi, Shea, Katashia, and Laurie were my lifeline. They were my "team" during my years there.

Here's what I do know about my time on the hill. It was exhilarating. It was life-changing. And it was where the Lord wanted me to be. I got to see a few teammates come to the Lord for the first time or come back to Him after not following Him for a time. I had many people share with me their journey back to the Lord through the way I lived my life then. He had me there for a reason. Sometimes I wish things went a bit differently, but college basketball was a fantastic launching pad for me into teaching and coaching -- which will be my next (and last and shorter) sports history post.

I belonged at WKU. It was an opportunity of a lifetime and one I am most grateful for. Sports molded me into the woman I became. I owe WKU and the entire coaching staff more than I can put into words.

And that is the end of one of my longest posts ever. I've stayed up WAY too late writing it. But there you go. College basketball in a very large nutshell. ;)

6 comments:

AW said...

He had me there for a reason. Sometimes I wish things went a bit differently, but...I belonged at WKU. It was an opportunity of a lifetime and one I am most grateful for. Sports molded me into the woman I became.

I have been in and am currently in a cycle of life that I am really struggling with. I wish some things were different in my life, but I know that in the long run, there is a purpose. And when I get perspective on this day, sometime in the future, I will see how it molded me.

Thank you for sharing your sports career...I did find it very interesting, but it also reminded me to press forward with the place God has planted me, no matter that I am struggling.

Dad and mom said...

Beautiful post Wen! Brought back some good memories and we found out things we didn't know before.
We're so proud of you!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post!

Katie Capps said...

That, my friend, is EXACTLY why I am still involved with the game. Through all the ups and downs of our college careers, it was about the relationships that were formed that made it so special. I bet half of the ladies you mentioed can't remember how many games they started or points they scored, but the CAN remember the times that were shared and the experiences. I can only hope the young ladies I am involved with now will someday have this mindset and be happy with their decision to play and be part of such an awesome experience!! Thank you so much for sharing!!

Anonymous said...

Monkey Momma -you put my thoughts for life right now in response to Wen's bog...into perfect words. May God comfort, sustain, encourage and bless you dear.
Wen's Tante Jan

Anonymous said...

oops Wen's blog not bog !:)